Breaking down my comfort zone

The past week was an interesting one. A number of things that we did stretched me mentally and emotionally, but also put my “struggles” in context.

One of my primary reasons for coming to Thailand was to challenge my academic, book-taught ways of thinking about international issues and economic development with the reality and complexity of real situations. Thus far, our Foundations class had been an overview of Thai history and politics. Most of this wasn’t new information, because of books I’ve read about the history of other SE Asian countries or background reading I had done on Thailand. Last week, we started focusing on some specific topics related to contemporary Thailand.

Two days in particular were pretty challenging. First, we read about gender and sexuality in Thailand, specifically focusing on the different categories they use for gay/lesbian or trans individuals and on sex trafficking and prostitution in Thailand and SE Asia. We didn’t focus as extensively on the sexuality categories, but after the multiple classes I’ve taken critically engaging gender issues, it was interesting to consider how the basis of their categories differ from ours and the broader cultural implications. (Our pervasive categories are gay and lesbian, focusing on sexes’ sexual attraction. Thai’s use the categories “toms” and “dees” for women and “khatoey” for men, focusing more on gender performance in relationships.)

We spent more time discussing prostitution and sex trafficking. From previous learning, I would be inclined to put the locus of responsibility for the SE Asian sex economy on Western culture. The birth of the industry was really during the Vietnam War, when soldiers would come to Thailand on leave and pay to sleep with the women. Today, it was my understanding that a similar dynamic continued to sustain the prostitution industry, with Western men coming as so-called “sex tourists” to frequent certain areas of Bangkok and other major cities. While all of this is true, my succinct narrative was complicated by the fact that there is a massive brothel/karaoke/massage parlor industry in Thailand outside tourist areas that is supported by Thai and other Asian men. When the issue is not just one of race and power, but also of purely relative economic standing, it becomes much more complicated.

We traced the flow of women into sex work, with the demand creating a supply of women to match it. This flow of women is both voluntary (women choosing to be sex workers because they have no other economic alternative to support themselves/children) and coerced (women think they’re going to the city for employment and their parents agree, not knowing its sex work). Many of the women are of the ethnic minority hill tribes or from Burma, Yunnan Province in China, and Laos—so there is a regional ethnic dynamic as well. The international response is not effective, however, focusing on the trafficking of women. This penalizes the supply—a response to poverty—rather than the demand—the pervasiveness of businesses fronting for prostitution and the demand from men.

From a Western feminist perspective, prostitution has always been a complicated issue. There are the competing dynamics of agency (choice) for women to determine their mode of economic income AND the undermining of positive female sexuality/perpetuated patriarchy as men pay to use a woman’s sexuality. I find the latter to be the stronger argument. But, these two perspectives were impossible to clearly impose on the situation here. I left class with no real concept of a solution, but had sufficiently complicated my Western feminist perception of the issue and upset my beginner’s understanding of Thai culture.

While the former was more of a personal philosophical/academic exercise, the next day we focused on issues in Burma. For those of you unfamiliar, Burma has been ruled by a military junta since about 1950, after years of civil war following its “independence” from Britain. The junta is oppressive to Burmese people who live in the country’s central plains, but has been violent and openly attacked the ethnic minorities in the mountains along its borders. I knew this, but two men from the Free Burma Rangers came to speak, and their firsthand accounts and footage from the reality on the ground were absolutely jolting. Check out this video: http://www.youtube.com/user/FreeBurmaRanger#p/u/7/nAWHQ1YYo3Q and their website http://www.freeburmarangers.org/ if you’re interested. (Note: the video is violent).

It’s one thing to know that a country has an oppressive, violent military government. Unfortunately, that is the case in countries throughout the world… so it’s easy to just categorize “Burma” in your mind under “places where bad things are happening.” But I was woken up again hearing about the systematic attacks to wipe out the ethnic minorities, who have no reason to feel allegiance to this “country” and had boundaries imposed upon them. Many of the tribes—Shaun, Karen, etc—have created resistance armies and their own system of governance. The Burmese army (government)’s response is to attack villages, burn down houses and crops, systematically rape women—especially by soldiers with AIDS, and on and on. That is pure genocide. For decades. Millions of people are internally displaced, many have tried to flee, but many just want to stay and live in their traditional villages. Thailand has been unresponsive to refugees because of the national discourses between Thai and Burmese. Nations with power vis a vis Burma—China in particular—have not pressured the government, because of Burma’s abundance of national resources and their need for them. Thus, it is unclear whether the situation will change at all in the near future.

It was deeply saddening to realize the severity and seriousness of the situation, to be only a few hours from Burma, and know that there was really nothing I could do. Yet, my nearness to the situation and awareness of it made me feel responsible—that my inaction made me complicit to their crimes. That’s a feeling that I still don’t know how to respond to.

But alas, here we’re always just moving on to the next thing! The next day, on Friday, our field trip was to a fish farm an hour outside of Chiang Mai. In typical ISDSI fashion, we knew we were going there but not what we would be doing there. We learned about the overall set up—they’re a locally owned NGO that farms tilapia to sell to other NGO’s, farmers, and businesses to help sustain local fish farmers, many of whom practice (sustainable) sustenance farming. Learning about this and the way they grow the fish was only about 30 min of our day though. The rest was spent in the ponds with the workers.

All morning we caught fish from a contained area of the pond, determined their sex, and if female checked their mouths for eggs. This sounds simple in theory. In practice, it was not only difficult to do but also a little unnerving. We were in chest high water, catching flapping splashing fish in nets, grabbing them while avoiding their sharp fins, and then trying to pry open their mouths and dunk the heads under water to release the eggs. That’s not my choice of activities! But, I got decent at the process. I was still in a pensive mood after the previous days and thus reminded myself that it’s some people’s livelihoods to do this day-after-day and that my own sustenance depends on jobs like these. That thought made me put my own hesitancy and fears aside and fully engage. I tried to ask the workers, in my broken Thai, how much money they earned but they didn’t fully understand...  and when we tried to ask the owner he dodged the question. That was frustrating, because I wanted to know what a farm worker at a private organization like this would make.  More incentive to learn Thai!

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After that week, my head was more than a little jumbled. Emotionally, I was also a little down. My greatest personal struggle is with diet and exercise, so the social culture of food as a way of life here can be a little difficult. I’m getting to work out some at school, but it’s not the same as what I’m used to and my family loves to feed me.  And everything’s so delicious! So, I defaulted to my typical mode of dealing with change and uncertainty. I got a hair cut! It makes no rational sense because when getting a hair cut you’re actually giving up control… but I’ve learned that cutting my hair fulfills my urge to control my life when I’m otherwise unable to do so. It’s weird, but hey… it’s healthier than other alternatives! I asked my parents midweek (in Thai!) if I could get a haircut over the weekend. I wasn’t sure where I they would take me, and while I was hoping for someone who spoke English, we went to Meh’s hairdresser in the next village. It was an interesting experience, but I’m pleased, my hair is shorter, and I only paid 100 baht ($3.30)!

All that said, last weekend was a well-needed respite! For more on the (much more upbeat and fun!) weekend, check out my next post.