Goodbyes

I’ll keep this short, because I don’t have many words right now for what I’m feeling. I've actually attempted this blog post a few times over the last few days, but was never sure what to write. 

Have had so many goodbyes in the last two days. Not sure I can handle the final ones tonight. Thankfully, many of them have just involved spending quality time together. Best so far—last night my two co-workers and I spontaneously sat up til 1 am together. As Pi A said, if we sit together long into the night, we’ll have the opportunity to say all the things we think and feel that we may not have said. Result= chatting, sharing, joking, and then a little YouTube karaoke just the three of us.

DONE

Nothing will help you get back into school mode more than a string of 12 hour work days. (Or make you less excited about it.. I'm not sure which one.) After last week became 'the lost week' after I got sick, I had to buckle down this week. I spent all of Saturday and Sunday working in the office by myself (except for the Saturday morning I spent back at the hospital for a check up, trying to clarify what's wrong with my silly stomach.) The goal: analyze all the data from our focus group interviews and create a draft report synthesizing... well, everything. I wanted to complete a draft report before leaving so I could share with co-workers and get their feedback.

There was a string of silly self-portrait laptop pictures that resulted from those two days, but I'll spare both you and I the embarrassment of me posting those! 

Words to live by

"The poorest of all men is not one without a cent, 
it is one without a dream."

When you can't su su any longer

Wouldn’t be a trip without a little unexpected surprise, no?

(This is part 2 of my update after much time away. Check out my previous post as well for the more positive, heartwarming things)

Our glory days

There are some experiences that are, for whatever reason, impactful enough to somehow transcend time and words. This was one of those experiences. We were only gone for 4 or 5 days, but the experiences were so rich and deep, and the people I was with so meaningful, that I can honestly say I came back changed. Just a few weeks ago I was really worn out emotionally, considering returning early and cutting my time here in Thailand short. But after my last few trips, and my experiences during this trip to Tak province in particular, my feelings changed completely.  During the last few days, I’ve had numerous serious conversations about whether I would come back and live in a Baukenyaw village, share in their way of life, and farm for my living. It seemed like a crazy proposition at first, but I found myself mulling it over and thinking that I could do it.

That realization took me by surprise and left me seriously considering whether this was something I wanted to do and what the experience would truly be like for me. I have a lot of reservations and am by no means committed— the majority of me says it would be too much for me to handle. But that other 40% thinks I could be very happy. And it’s not just a pipe dream. My friend and co-worker offered to give me a little piece of wet rice paddy land (na) in his village and help me build a small house, which would be enough for me to live sufficiently in a community I’m already a little familiar with.