(See part I of this post to fast forward through the rest of my study abroad experience. Want to read someone summarize six months in six paragraphs? Part I is my attempt to do so, explaining how and why I'm returning to Thailand).
So what am I doing this summer? Well, I leave tomorrow for
10 weeks of field research at IMPECT, which will be used for my senior thesis
(SIP) at Kalamazoo. I’ll be based out of Chiang Mai and going on extended field visits to Karen villages in northern Thailand. My research will be analyzing IMPECT’s
process of working with communities, which differs from traditional state or
NGO-run development projects because it is community based. IMPECT only works in
communities who reach out and ask, and bases programs on the village’s vision
for their development; ideas are generated collaboratively with villagers and
implementation is focused on building villagers’ capacities. IMPECT and her
funder call this People Led Development.
My research
will be sociological, exploring the process
of People Led Development and specifically asking 1) to what extent villagers
are actually leading development and 2) in what ways People Led Development
allows these indigenous communities to assert their rights to
self-determination. Overall, then, I will be assessing the power dynamics of
the project process (not the outcomes). I’ll also be addressing questions such
as what defines a project as People Led? How do these projects differ from
other types of development projects? What are the benefits and challenges of
PLD?
When I try
to explain this to most people, I either get raised eyebrows and a head nod
followed by silence, a confused “What does that mean?,” or a skeptical “How are
you going to do that?” All of these reactions are understandable, because to be
honest, even I only have a partial idea of how this is all going to work. This
is partially because at IMPECT, change and ambiguity is the norm, so I know I’ll
need to be flexible and adjust as I go.
But it’s
also because of the way I’m going about the research. Because of some of my
personal views and particularly because of the history of the issue I’m
studying, I don’t want to be the educated Western researcher in the position of
power. Instead, I hope to work through action research methods. Rather than “interviewing”
I’ll be "facilitating" conversations between project staff and communities so
they can come to understandings together about these topics and create shared
knowledge that can inform the projects. Instead of coming up with research methods
on my own, I’ll be continuing to develop them with fellow IMPECT staffers. And
so on..
To be
honest, this terrifies me. There is great potential for beneficial outcomes,
which is why I ended up deciding that this project was something worth
pursuing. These conversations can act as a form of consciousness-raising for
communities around important issues like their rights and the village’s vision.
For IMPECT, it will provide the space to step back and reflect, something that
is difficult to do with a small, stretched staff. They’ll have a chance to hear
more about villages’ thoughts on development and hopes for the future, while
also examining other issues like internal power dynamics in communities
(gender, class, etc) or barriers to villagers’ participation.
But these
are high, idealistic hopes. I’ve been trying to prepare myself for the
inevitable fact that I won’t achieve all of this. What I hope to do will not go
as planned, and the outcomes will not be what I expect. While I’m okay with
that, I also don’t want to screw up. I may be well intentioned and well versed
in theory, but I’m doing real research with real people, and I could very easily
become just another example of a Westerner coming in and negatively affecting a
community.
In the end,
I guess I’ve decided the risk is worth it. I also don’t have a choice at this
point! After getting grant funding from Kalamazoo, I’ve got to do the damn thing.
My goal is to follow the advice of a few friends: Allow yourself to not do
everything (Thanks Alex). If all else fails, eat some good Thai food and enjoy
the chance to hang out with the people I care about in Thailand (You too
Emily). And always tham sabaii (Love
you Margaux).
I’ve also
been dealing with something I’ve never really felt before and did not expect: the
desire to just slow down for a while. To stay put somewhere and give myself time to put down roots. Throughout college all I’ve done is move from one place
to another, often doing so on my own. I've come to love the adventure and gotten
pretty good at it too. But leaving Kalamazoo at the end of the quarter was one
of the most difficult and emotional things I’ve done recently, because most of
me was feeling like I would rather just stay. Since then, life has been even
more of a whirlwind. I was only home for four days, during which time family visited, I caught up with best friends from high school, and finished the final to-do's that inevitably accumulate. Then we
headed out on a road trip to the east coast to visit Kyle during summer
sessions at the military academies. During the last four days, I’ve traveled
1200+ miles, seen 5 or 6 major cities, visited my older siblings, caught up with
another high school friend, ran around my neighborhood in Philly, and seen my brother at West Point and Navy. And tomorrow
I fly out for Chiang Mai!
While my
heart is full, swelling with more emotions than I’ve felt in a long time, I
think it’s also prepared me to leave. In the last week, I’ve literally criss-crossed
the country to see almost every person in America I love dearly. While that’s
brought with it a lot of nostalgia, memories, and unanswered questions, it’s also
reminded me of how amazing the people in my life are. I’m finally feeling
inspired and certain that I’m going where I’m supposed to go and doing what I
should be doing— for myself, for the person I want to become, for those around
me, and for those I love on both sides of the world.
